You Know What's Bullsh*t?

[Justin Bieber]

All i want is to wake up at 2am and have nachos without sounding like i set fireworks of in my kitchen. Someone needs to invent a non beeping microwave would make millions.

Yeah, I set the thing for 1 minute and then it has to shout at me "Hey flowerface, your food is ready!". Thanks microwave, I'm standing right here you know.

Why I always stop it like with 1- 2 seconds left, just to avoid the annoying beeping, whether it's day or night I try to do it! How I still warm up my dinner at like 12-1am in the past haha.

[jobe#4]

microwaves ruin food!
microwave pies make me cry...scorched to shower on the outside and frozen inside.
Nachos are great!

[My Chumps]

microwaves ruin food!
microwave pies make me cry...scorched to shower on the outside and frozen inside.
Nachos are great!

There's a specific tactic to the art of a microwave pie. Follow carefully.

1. Get pie out of packet (preferably 4and20, Mrs Macs will also suffice)
2. Put a piece of absorbent paper towel on the plate you plan to use (preferably a microwave safe plate, although sometimes I too like to live dangerously)
3. Put the pie UPSIDE DOWN on the paper towel that's on the plate
4. Put plate, paper and pie in the microwave, in that order
5. Turn microwave on for 1 minute, maybe 1 minute and 5 seconds so you have 5 seconds to stop the microwave before that annoying beeping sound
6. Find something interesting to do for a minute, maybe juggle or read a very short story. This step is essential.
7. After a minute of cooking, stop the microwave before the previously mentioned annoying beeping sound is set off and FLIP THE PIE back to the right way up
8. Put the pie back in the microwave for 2 minutes. Make sure it is indeed the right way up
9. Preform the dance of the piemen for 2 minutes, or until your feet get tired at which point you will then play a quick game of Uno with the cat
10. Pie is ready! Lather with sauce and ho that shower down. Pie is adequately warm all around, although slightly soggy. To add crunch, you may preform the "pleasecrunchupmypieohmightylord" ritual... or you could just put it in the oven for 10 minutes. Both have a pretty similar success rate, it just depends on how flamboyant you're feeling at the time.

Enjoy!

[Nige]

^ Can confirm.

I do microwaved Four and Twenty pies a fair bit, if follow the above instructions and/or the ones on the packet, they come out fine.  ;)

[Noz]

Struggling with step 9 as i can't dance and my cat is a very aggressive uno player so i avoid it as much as i can.

[GoLions]

microwaves ruin food!
microwave pies make me cry...scorched to shower on the outside and frozen inside.
Nachos are great!

There's a specific tactic to the art of a microwave pie. Follow carefully.

1. Get pie out of packet (preferably 4and20, Mrs Macs will also suffice)
2. Put a piece of absorbent paper towel on the plate you plan to use (preferably a microwave safe plate, although sometimes I too like to live dangerously)
3. Put the pie UPSIDE DOWN on the paper towel that's on the plate
4. Put plate, paper and pie in the microwave, in that order
5. Turn microwave on for 1 minute, maybe 1 minute and 5 seconds so you have 5 seconds to stop the microwave before that annoying beeping sound
6. Find something interesting to do for a minute, maybe juggle or read a very short story. This step is essential.
7. After a minute of cooking, stop the microwave before the previously mentioned annoying beeping sound is set off and FLIP THE PIE back to the right way up
8. Put the pie back in the microwave for 2 minutes. Make sure it is indeed the right way up
9. Preform the dance of the piemen for 2 minutes, or until your feet get tired at which point you will then play a quick game of Uno with the cat
10. Pie is ready! Lather with sauce and ho that shower down. Pie is adequately warm all around, although slightly soggy. To add crunch, you may preform the "pleasecrunchupmypieohmightylord" ritual... or you could just put it in the oven for 10 minutes. Both have a pretty similar success rate, it just depends on how flamboyant you're feeling at the time.

Enjoy!

Instructions unclear. Dick caught in ceiling fan.

[Nails]

microwaves ruin food!
microwave pies make me cry...scorched to shower on the outside and frozen inside.
Nachos are great!

There's a specific tactic to the art of a microwave pie. Follow carefully.

1. Get pie out of packet (preferably 4and20, Mrs Macs will also suffice)
2. Put a piece of absorbent paper towel on the plate you plan to use (preferably a microwave safe plate, although sometimes I too like to live dangerously)
3. Put the pie UPSIDE DOWN on the paper towel that's on the plate
4. Put plate, paper and pie in the microwave, in that order
5. Turn microwave on for 1 minute, maybe 1 minute and 5 seconds so you have 5 seconds to stop the microwave before that annoying beeping sound
6. Find something interesting to do for a minute, maybe juggle or read a very short story. This step is essential.
7. After a minute of cooking, stop the microwave before the previously mentioned annoying beeping sound is set off and FLIP THE PIE back to the right way up
8. Put the pie back in the microwave for 2 minutes. Make sure it is indeed the right way up
9. Preform the dance of the piemen for 2 minutes, or until your feet get tired at which point you will then play a quick game of Uno with the cat
10. Pie is ready! Lather with sauce and ho that shower down. Pie is adequately warm all around, although slightly soggy. To add crunch, you may preform the "pleasecrunchupmypieohmightylord" ritual... or you could just put it in the oven for 10 minutes. Both have a pretty similar success rate, it just depends on how flamboyant you're feeling at the time.

Enjoy!

Instructions unclear. Dick caught in ceiling fan.

How can you get something that's only 5mm "caught"

[Nige]

microwaves ruin food!
microwave pies make me cry...scorched to shower on the outside and frozen inside.
Nachos are great!

There's a specific tactic to the art of a microwave pie. Follow carefully.

1. Get pie out of packet (preferably 4and20, Mrs Macs will also suffice)
2. Put a piece of absorbent paper towel on the plate you plan to use (preferably a microwave safe plate, although sometimes I too like to live dangerously)
3. Put the pie UPSIDE DOWN on the paper towel that's on the plate
4. Put plate, paper and pie in the microwave, in that order
5. Turn microwave on for 1 minute, maybe 1 minute and 5 seconds so you have 5 seconds to stop the microwave before that annoying beeping sound
6. Find something interesting to do for a minute, maybe juggle or read a very short story. This step is essential.
7. After a minute of cooking, stop the microwave before the previously mentioned annoying beeping sound is set off and FLIP THE PIE back to the right way up
8. Put the pie back in the microwave for 2 minutes. Make sure it is indeed the right way up
9. Preform the dance of the piemen for 2 minutes, or until your feet get tired at which point you will then play a quick game of Uno with the cat
10. Pie is ready! Lather with sauce and ho that shower down. Pie is adequately warm all around, although slightly soggy. To add crunch, you may preform the "pleasecrunchupmypieohmightylord" ritual... or you could just put it in the oven for 10 minutes. Both have a pretty similar success rate, it just depends on how flamboyant you're feeling at the time.

Enjoy!

Instructions unclear. Dick caught in ceiling fan.

There was a TIFU on Reddit about a dude that actually got his dick stuck in a fan. Took a while before somebody posted this though haha. In fact, the guy won FUOTW for it.  ;D

[GoLions]

microwaves ruin food!
microwave pies make me cry...scorched to shower on the outside and frozen inside.
Nachos are great!

There's a specific tactic to the art of a microwave pie. Follow carefully.

1. Get pie out of packet (preferably 4and20, Mrs Macs will also suffice)
2. Put a piece of absorbent paper towel on the plate you plan to use (preferably a microwave safe plate, although sometimes I too like to live dangerously)
3. Put the pie UPSIDE DOWN on the paper towel that's on the plate
4. Put plate, paper and pie in the microwave, in that order
5. Turn microwave on for 1 minute, maybe 1 minute and 5 seconds so you have 5 seconds to stop the microwave before that annoying beeping sound
6. Find something interesting to do for a minute, maybe juggle or read a very short story. This step is essential.
7. After a minute of cooking, stop the microwave before the previously mentioned annoying beeping sound is set off and FLIP THE PIE back to the right way up
8. Put the pie back in the microwave for 2 minutes. Make sure it is indeed the right way up
9. Preform the dance of the piemen for 2 minutes, or until your feet get tired at which point you will then play a quick game of Uno with the cat
10. Pie is ready! Lather with sauce and ho that shower down. Pie is adequately warm all around, although slightly soggy. To add crunch, you may preform the "pleasecrunchupmypieohmightylord" ritual... or you could just put it in the oven for 10 minutes. Both have a pretty similar success rate, it just depends on how flamboyant you're feeling at the time.

Enjoy!

Instructions unclear. Dick caught in ceiling fan.

How can you get something that's only 5mm "caught"

Nails pls :'(

[jobe#4]

microwaves ruin food!
microwave pies make me cry...scorched to shower on the outside and frozen inside.
Nachos are great!

There's a specific tactic to the art of a microwave pie. Follow carefully.

1. Get pie out of packet (preferably 4and20, Mrs Macs will also suffice)
2. Put a piece of absorbent paper towel on the plate you plan to use (preferably a microwave safe plate, although sometimes I too like to live dangerously)
3. Put the pie UPSIDE DOWN on the paper towel that's on the plate
4. Put plate, paper and pie in the microwave, in that order
5. Turn microwave on for 1 minute, maybe 1 minute and 5 seconds so you have 5 seconds to stop the microwave before that annoying beeping sound
6. Find something interesting to do for a minute, maybe juggle or read a very short story. This step is essential.
7. After a minute of cooking, stop the microwave before the previously mentioned annoying beeping sound is set off and FLIP THE PIE back to the right way up
8. Put the pie back in the microwave for 2 minutes. Make sure it is indeed the right way up
9. Preform the dance of the piemen for 2 minutes, or until your feet get tired at which point you will then play a quick game of Uno with the cat
10. Pie is ready! Lather with sauce and ho that shower down. Pie is adequately warm all around, although slightly soggy. To add crunch, you may preform the "pleasecrunchupmypieohmightylord" ritual... or you could just put it in the oven for 10 minutes. Both have a pretty similar success rate, it just depends on how flamboyant you're feeling at the time.

Enjoy!

oven is the way to go for consistent heat...and no cold chunks in the middle.
Also we don't have a cat, and my neighbour is the crazy cat lady(every town has one), so I had to 'borrow' one to play UNO with and it was a disaster...it didn't know the rules!

[Toga]

Instructions unclear. Dick caught in ceiling fan.

Hahaha this is great GL

[Nige]

Instructions unclear. Dick caught in ceiling fan.

Hahaha this is great GL

Not if it happened to you.  :P

[jobe#4]

you know what's seriously bullshower? the new anti-protesting laws being introduced

[My Chumps]

you know what's seriously bullshower? the new anti-protesting laws being introduced

Yeah, let's protest about it!



No but in all seriousness it is bullshower. Also bullshower is the Abbot government cutting funding to the ABC.

[jobe#4]

you know what's seriously bullshower? the new anti-protesting laws being introduced

Yeah, let's protest about it!



No but in all seriousness it is bullshower. Also bullshower is the Abbot government cutting funding to the ABC.

haha you can be jailed for it!
hoping that there will be a revolution one day...