The joke thread!

[elephants]

i actually dont, what does it mean >.>

+1 hahaha :D

rb :)

[nas]

Sheesh guess i better wait a few years for you guys to get it.

[SydneyRox]

How old are you JT?

Need an 18+ rating on the thread to explain

[nas]

HooRah some one got it

[elephants]

hahaha i am 15 that must be why ? :D

[Justin Bieber]

I might get it, or be completely off on a tangent :P.

[Junktimer]

yeah im 15.

[Junktimer]

actually i think i got it now

is it to do with a certain smell of something smelling like a fish?  ;)

[BratPack]

An Amish man and his son are walking through the local shopping centre one day, marvelling at all the technology on offer when they come to the elevators. The son asks "Dad what's that?" to which the father replies "I don't know son" They watch as the doors open and a old lady steps into the elevator, the doors close as the father and son watch the numbers count all the way to the top then back down again where the doors part and out steps a stunning blonde 20 year old who could easily be a model. The father looks as she steps out and then turns to his son "Son" he says "Go and get your mother"

[Justin Bieber]

That's alright BP but still.....

http://instantcrickets.com/

Sorry, always wanted to do that :P.

[BratPack]

That's alright BP but still.....

http://instantcrickets.com/

Sorry, always wanted to do that :P.

I was wondering when that would come  :P

[SydneyRox]

Just to prepare for the Christmas cracker jokes...

What do you call a Greek man falling out of a plane?
Condescending
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws
What has two legs and bleeds?
Half a dog

[Alex7089]

One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.

[Alex7089]

A woman and her lover are in the house while the husband is at work. Her nine year old son comes in, and after seeing them making love he hides in the wardrobe and watches them. All of a sudden the husband comes. Wife hides her lover in the wardrobe, without knowing that her son is in there. Boy:
- It's dark here.
- Yes it is.
- I've got a soccer ball.
- That's nice.
- Do you want to buy it?
- No, thanks.
- My dad is outside.
- Ok, how much?
- 250 dollars.
After a few weeks man and boy run into each other again in the wardrobe. Boy:
- It's dark here.
- Yes it is.
- I've got a soccer cleats.
Remembering what happened last time, man asks:
- How much?
- 750 dollars.
- Ok.
After few days, father says to his son:
- Lets go and play soccer.
- I can't, I sold the ball and the cleats.
- How much did you get?
- 1000 dollars.
- That is terrible, how could you ask so much money.... that's much more than they are worth. That's a sin, so you should go to the church and confess.
Father takes his son to the church confessional. Boy gets in, closes the door and says:
- It's dark here.
Priest:
- Don't start with that shower again!!!

Owned :P

[Junktimer]

One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.

thats dirty.