The joke thread!

[bomberboy0618]

Tell any joke you know!

[Alex7089]

There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building. The first man said " I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!" The second man says "Ok, sure." and the barman holds the bet. The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in. Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says: " I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again." So the barman holds the bet. Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in." The first man says" Ok, sure." The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below. He is dead. Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man " Gee, you can be a barbie when you're pissed, Superman."

[roo boys!]

lol ;D

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Hmm :P

[Alex7089]

The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his. "Papa fell in the well last week - " he began. "Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher. "Is he all right now?" "He must be," said little Irving. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."

[BratPack]

The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his. "Papa fell in the well last week - " he began. "Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher. "Is he all right now?" "He must be," said little Irving. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."

http://instantcrickets.com/

[Barlow 21]

The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his. "Papa fell in the well last week - " he began. "Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher. "Is he all right now?" "He must be," said little Irving. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."

http://instantcrickets.com/

Lol

[roo boys!]

The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his. "Papa fell in the well last week - " he began. "Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher. "Is he all right now?" "He must be," said little Irving. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."

http://instantcrickets.com/

[nas]

NSW Police Entrance Test
An Australian man is seeking to join the NSW Police force
The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."
Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says:
"Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?"
"Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"

[nas]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said:? Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."

[nas]

The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists, a
  university graduate and an old aboriginal man.
They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to think about it
  then come up with a short poem that contained that word.
The word they were given was "'TIMBUKTU'"
  First to recite his poem was the university graduate.
He stepped up to the microphone and said:

"Slowly across the desert sand""Trekked a lonely caravan""Men on camels two by two""Destination - Timbuktu"The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that, they thought.

The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

"Me and Tim a huntin' went""Met three whores in a pop-up tent""They were three, and we was two""So I bucked one, and Timbuktu"
The aboriginal won

[nas]

Man said to wife "Alright you sexy thing, bedroom now."

She looked at him and said, "Ooh, you kinky barbie."

He said, "No, seriously, the footy’s about to start, nick off!”

[BratPack]

The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists, a
  university graduate and an old aboriginal man.
They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to think about it
  then come up with a short poem that contained that word.
The word they were given was "'TIMBUKTU'"
  First to recite his poem was the university graduate.
He stepped up to the microphone and said:

"Slowly across the desert sand""Trekked a lonely caravan""Men on camels two by two""Destination - Timbuktu"The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that, they thought.

The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

"Me and Tim a huntin' went""Met three whores in a pop-up tent""They were three, and we was two""So I bucked one, and Timbuktu"
The aboriginal won

http://instantcrickets.com/

[Justin Bieber]

Nice ones naste ;D ;D ;D.

[roo boys!]

I thought that one was pretty funny BP :P

[BratPack]

I thought that one was pretty funny BP :P

You're easily amused  ::) ;)