Jokes

[T Dog]

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a dog is seven. Three plus six, that son of a dog is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a dog is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
;D

[T Dog]

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.
The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"
The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on the way home from work."
The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ah, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud...They're hookers!"
A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the hooker ladies have any children?"
The mother replies, "Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"
:o

[T Dog]

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which his son translated. "What are the guys in the big suits doing?"

A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon.

The old man got really excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate. He refused.

So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder's message to the moon. Finally, NASA called in an official government translator. He reported that the moon message said, "Watch out for these guys; they've come to steal your land."

;D

[CrowsFan]

You already did that joke about a month ago. Run out of material T Dog? :P

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which his son translated. "What are the guys in the big suits doing?"
A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon.
The old man got really excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate. He refused.
So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder's message to the moon. Finally, NASA called in an official government translator. He reported that the moon message said, "Watch out for these guys; they've come to steal your land."
;D

[T Dog]

Sorry about that CF. its hard to remeber what I have posted sometimes...will replace with a newie.. ;D ;D

[T Dog]

I let out a really loud fart in the restaurant last night.
The bloke sitting at the table next to me said, “That’s disgusting. If you do it again, I’ll tell the manager.”
So, me being me, I decided to do it again.
He instantly walked up to the manager and complained.
flowering barbie, got me sacked.
8)

[CrowsFan]

Sorry about that CF. its hard to remeber what I have posted sometimes...will replace with a newie.. ;D ;D

Haha all good, just don't want you getting complacent and repeating jokes :P

[T Dog]

“Can I have a double Jack and coke please?” I slurred.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough, sir?” He replied.

“What? Listen dickhead, I could out-drink anyone. ANYONE! Do you hear me? I’ve been drinking for three days and am going to continue drinking for the rest of the week. Nobody is going to tell me I’ve had enough. So, can I have a double Jack and coke please?”

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to step out of your vehicle.”
???

[tbagrocks]

American Dad just did this at the start of the episode

Steve comes in and after chatting with dad

says to mom "I feel like dad barely knows me"

Fran (mom) says "Steve you're turning into a sensitive young woman"

Lol sorry but I lost it at this gag ;D

[T Dog]

I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery. I've had it right up to here with them.  ;D

[T Dog]

I was walking to work when an old guy summoned me over to a garden.
“Pssstt,” he said. “Hey, boy, you see that rabbit hutch over there? If you go over and pull open the door, there’s a million dollarss in there for you.”
“Just pull open the door?” I said in disbelief.
He replied, “Yes.”
I said, “There must be some sort of catch…”
8)

[T Dog]

I have to come out and admit that I’m a heroin addict.

784 Wonder Woman figurines and counting…
;D

[T Dog]

I arranged a pessimists meeting today,

It wasn’t a great turn out, the room was half empty.

8)

[SydneyRox]

I have to come out and admit that I’m a heroin addict.

784 Wonder Woman figurines and counting…
;D

I know its Friday. Had to read that 4 times before I got it.

[T Dog]

I try SR... ;D..here's another..


The other day, my mate asked me what I thought of Internet Message boards…

I said I’m all forum.
8)