Jokes

[nas]

Karen (Grazz's wife) was arrested for shop lifting.

When Karen went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"

Karen replied, "A can of peaches."

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and Karen replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

Karen replied, "6."

The judge said, "Then I’ll give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could conclude the trial, Grazz spoke......and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, "What is it?"

Grazz said, "Karen also stole a can of peas."

lol your in trouble mate, she read that one.

Only doing what Dudge told me to do.

[My Chumps]

An Eskimo was driving along the highway with his New Zealand pal in the passanger seat.
All of a sudden his car broke down.

New Zealander: "I think you BLEW a seal"

Eskimo: "Yeah, well you f**k sheep!"



Get it? ;D

[Dudge]

Karen (Grazz's wife) was arrested for shop lifting.

When Karen went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"

Karen replied, "A can of peaches."

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and Karen replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

Karen replied, "6."

The judge said, "Then I’ll give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could conclude the trial, Grazz spoke......and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, "What is it?"

Grazz said, "Karen also stole a can of peas."

lol your in trouble mate, she read that one.

Only doing what Dudge told me to do.

I SEE nothing- I KNOW nothing ;D

[Grazz]

Schultz and Klink a great combination. :-\

[Tominator]

I got a joke... SA Redbacks    ::)

[T Dog]

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.

"What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.

After 5...10...15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.

He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened. The counselor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"

The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here every Tuesdays and Thursdays."  8)

[Ringo]

I got a joke... SA Redbacks    ::)

Qld Bulls not far behind

[BB67th]

I got a joke... SA Redbacks    ::)

Qld Bulls not far behind

Horrible performance by them today, same team that won the Shield last year?

[T Dog]

Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee

- You answer the door before people knock.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeeshop and you don't even work there.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- Cocaine is a downer.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap chocolate bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.
;D

[Grazz]

Like that T-Dog. ;D

[T Dog]

Thanks Grazz  ;D

A man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets.

"Who's the other ticket for?" the ticket girl asked.

"For my pet chicken." He said, pointing to the bird.

"I'm sorry," the girl tells him, "but we don't allow animals in the theater."

The man walked around the corner of the building, and stuffed the chicken into his pants. He returned to the ticket window and bought a ticket, entered the theater, and sat down.

The chicken started to get too hot, so the man, figuring it was okay because it was dark to unzipped his pants and let the chicken stick its head out.

The woman seated next to him looked down in horror. She nudged her friend Amanda and whispered, "Amanda! This man next to me just unzipped his pants!"

Amanda replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Just ignore him. If you've seen one, you've seen them all."

The woman whispered back, "I know, I know, but this one's eating my popcorn!"
8)

[Grazz]

bahahaha i hope i remember that one. ;D

[T Dog]

Two aliens landed in the desert near an abandoned petrol station. They approached one of the petrol pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it.

"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The petrol pumps of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. Again there was no response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the petrol pumps haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!"

The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired.

There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap rather abruptly. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"

The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy, when a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, you don't mess with him."
8) 8)

[Dudge]

I was at the local swimming pool yesterday, and decided to have a sneaky pee down the deep end. But the flowering life guard was right on to me. The a..hole blew his whistle so flowering loud, i nearly fell in !!

[CrowsFan]

I was at the local swimming pool yesterday, and decided to have a sneaky pee down the deep end. But the flowering life guard was right on to me. The a..hole blew his whistle so flowering loud, i nearly fell in !!

;D ;D Gold ;D ;D