Jokes

[T Dog]

My pet jellyfish has just abandoned his family.

He's got no backbone.  8)

[T Dog]

If a dwarf palm reader escaped from prison would that be a small, medium at large?  ::)

[Ziplock]

A police study has shown that you're more likely to be shot if you run from a fat cop than if you run from a skinny one.

that's actually not a joke, it's a legit study...

but still hilarious :P

[T Dog]

A police study has shown that you're more likely to be shot if you run from a fat cop than if you run from a skinny one.

that's actually not a joke, it's a legit study...

but still hilarious :P

Nice one Ziplock, ;D Studies can be sensational......

Studies have shown, 100% of car crashes are a woman's fault.
55% of the time she's driving and the other 45% of the time she's walking down the street dressed provocatively.  8)

[T Dog]

"I can't wait 2 C U tonight. XXX"

"Me neither. The Pacifier."

"The Pacifier? WTF?"

"Sorry, I thought we were ending our texts with Vin Diesel movies."  ;D

[Ziplock]

T dog, you just churn  these out.

I've got another 2 real life funnies :P

the first one- in a southern US state (tennessee from memory), there was the red-neck hillbilly type couple, like real bogans, that bred like rabbits until the point when they were nearly 40 they had 9 children. At which point they went to the doctor to get the father fixed. The doctor after hearing about their children and dilemma says 'ahhh... look, you've already got 9 children, and honestly the missus isn't going to be at a child bearing age for much longer... why the decision to get fixed now?'

Apparently the couple had heard that 1/10 americans are mexican, and since neither of them spoke spanish, they didn't want to have a mexican kid to raise.


... lol.

Another gold one that was in mX today- apparently in france bee keepers were dropping nuts after their bees started producing unsellable honey that was blue, green and red coloured... apparently the cause was due to a near by m&m factory... the bees had apparently been going for the mm discarded shells, turning the honey rainbow coloured :P

[CrowsFan]

How is blue, green and red honey unsellable?? Would have thought you could make a fortune!

[henry]

Another gold one that was in mX today- apparently in france bee keepers were dropping nuts after their bees started producing unsellable honey that was blue, green and red coloured... apparently the cause was due to a near by m&m factory... the bees had apparently been going for the mm discarded shells, turning the honey rainbow coloured :P

Yeah I saw that too in the mX, I'd wonder what it tastes like lol.

[Ziplock]

How is blue, green and red honey unsellable?? Would have thought you could make a fortune!

yeah that's I thought... but food laws are generally pretty strict to be fair lol.

[T Dog]

T dog, you just churn  these out.

Its good to be noticed Zip.. ;D

My Irish mate walked into the pub and said, "I'll have five bottles of your finest champagne."
"Bloody hell," I said, "What are you splashing out for?"
"I won the jackpot," he smiled. "I got three numbers in tattslotto last night."
"You have to get six, Paddy," I said.
"Bugger it then," he shouted. "Six bottles of your finest champagne."   8)

[T Dog]

I was shocked when a man approached me and shouted "Red! Orange! Green! Blue!"

I'd never heard such colourful language in my life.  :o

[Purple 77]

I was shocked when a man approached me and shouted "Red! Orange! Green! Blue!"

I'd never heard such colourful language in my life.  :o

Oh dear........ wow

Still couldn't help but laugh a little  ;D

[monstrum]

9 out of ten ppl enjoy gang rape!


did i hear that one on here?  :-[

[CrowsFan]

I have a feeling myself or zip may have mentioned it at some point. I know I tell people that in person :P

[monstrum]

Lol its a good one cheers  ;D