Jokes

[Tominator]

this is old and you've all heard it but couldn't resist it haha ;)

"if your Uncle Jack helped you get off an elephant, then would you help your Uncle Jack off an elephant?"

Sadly I laughed out loud at this one...

I told this to a guy at my school and he didn't get it for like 8 hours (til he Facebooked just about all of his friends and one of them explained it to him hahaha)  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[T Dog]

Ball Size

... After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America's recreational preferences:
1.
The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball.

2.
The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.

3.
The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.

4.
The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.

5.
The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.

6.
The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.


Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

[Windigo]

The jokes on us for picking Broughton this year.  ::)

[Nails]

probs already been said...

Joke: My 2012 DT.

[Tominator]

I got a joke...


Port Adelaide

[Dudge]

I got a joke...


Port Adelaide

Not nice Tom :(

[T Dog]

Iraq Recruit.
Mick Malthouse the coach of Collingwood Magpies gets wind of potential young recruit who lives in Iraq. Malthouse and the Magpies recruiting Manager catch a plane to the troubled Iraq capital Baghdad and track the young boy down.
They risk life and limb dodging car bombs, bullets and grenades but finally find him and convince him to come to Australia.
The boy does a full pre-season, plays all the practice matches and gets picked on the bench in the seniors for the first game of the year.
Ten minutes into the first quarter, Nathan Buckley goes down with a severe knee injury. Malthouse turns to the boy and says "This is it son, go to the centre half forward and show us what you can do."
The boy proceeds to play the greatest debut game in AFL history. He kicks 9 goals, takes mark of the year, and kicks the winning goal after the siren from outside 50.
The Magpies chair him off the ground and give him three cheers back in the rooms. Malthouse tells the team what the boy from Iraq has been through and he is a model lesson for all.
Malthouse then pulls the boy aside and says "Go into my office son, ring your Mother and tell her what you did today."
He proceeds to do so. "Mum", he says down the phone, "Guess what I did today?"
"I don't care what you did today." His Mother replies. "I tell you what happened here today", she goes on. "Your Dad was stabbed and robbed, our house was torched, our car blown up, your sister was attacked and your brother was abducted."
"Gee" says the boy. "I feel a bit responsible for what happened."
The Mother replies "So you should be, if it wasn't for you we would never have shifted to Collingwood."

[Tominator]

I have durable hamstrings.... lol jks I play for Essendon ;D

[elephants]

Iraq Recruit.
Mick Malthouse the coach of Collingwood Magpies gets wind of potential young recruit who lives in Iraq. Malthouse and the Magpies recruiting Manager catch a plane to the troubled Iraq capital Baghdad and track the young boy down.
They risk life and limb dodging car bombs, bullets and grenades but finally find him and convince him to come to Australia.
The boy does a full pre-season, plays all the practice matches and gets picked on the bench in the seniors for the first game of the year.
Ten minutes into the first quarter, Nathan Buckley goes down with a severe knee injury. Malthouse turns to the boy and says "This is it son, go to the centre half forward and show us what you can do."
The boy proceeds to play the greatest debut game in AFL history. He kicks 9 goals, takes mark of the year, and kicks the winning goal after the siren from outside 50.
The Magpies chair him off the ground and give him three cheers back in the rooms. Malthouse tells the team what the boy from Iraq has been through and he is a model lesson for all.
Malthouse then pulls the boy aside and says "Go into my office son, ring your Mother and tell her what you did today."
He proceeds to do so. "Mum", he says down the phone, "Guess what I did today?"
"I don't care what you did today." His Mother replies. "I tell you what happened here today", she goes on. "Your Dad was stabbed and robbed, our house was torched, our car blown up, your sister was attacked and your brother was abducted."
"Gee" says the boy. "I feel a bit responsible for what happened."
The Mother replies "So you should be, if it wasn't for you we would never have shifted to Collingwood."

Classic!! Haha ;D

[Zombie2.5]

I got a joke...


Port Adelaide

Bahahaha, what a joke!  8)

[T Dog]

 A couple of Adelaide hunters are out in the bush when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his mobile and calls the triple ooo. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[Tominator]

A couple of Adelaide hunters are out in the bush when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his mobile and calls the triple ooo. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

hahahahha! should've said it was in Elizabeth or Snowtown lol ::)

[T Dog]

Could have been worse..I was going to start it with.. "a couple of port adelaide coaches are in the rooms after a game ..."

[T Dog]

For all you rugby fans...


A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must
confess darling, I was a hooker!'.
He says 'That's all right, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit
that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.

She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I was a football player!'.

;D

[CrowsFan]

For all you soccer fans...


A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must
confess darling, I was a hooker!'.
He says 'That's all right, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit
that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.

She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I was a football player!'.

;D

That's rugby not soccer ::)