Jokes

[My Chumps]

Nice  :P

Did you know if you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a women who learns her place.

[bomberboy0618]

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, everyone knows feminists cant change a thing.

[Doyle]

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be open when she brings it to you.

Q. Two feminists jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What do you say to a feminist with a job?
A. Big Mac please.

[DazBurg]

3 blondes burst into a bar all shouting at the top of their lungs 45 DAYS, 45 DAYS, 45 DAYS

they tell the bartender to open his finest bottle of champagne, the bartender curious what the commotion is all about asks them as he brings the drinks why they are yelling 45 days

so one of the blonde turns and proudly shows him there on the table a perfect puzzle picture of elmo
she says rather proudly beaming from ear to ear....the box says 3 to 5 years and us 3 did it in 45 days

[TheMailman]

What's the difference between a knife and women's rights?

A kinfe has a point  :-X

Seriously though women's rights are important

[Dudge]

Here-Here, the wifes holding a knife right now. But seriously. i don't care what u all say, we can't live without them

[Ziplock]

[nas]

Here-Here, the wifes holding a knife right now. But seriously. i don't care what u all say, we can't live without them

So when she says jump > You say NO? but can I come down now?

[Dudge]

Here-Here, the wifes holding a knife right now. But seriously. i don't care what u all say, we can't live without them

So when she says jump > You say NO? but can I come down now?

Its scary naste, you seem to be reading my mind  :D  But yeah youre right on the money

[nas]

Been a while so a Monday morning wake up.

Once upon a time there were two brothers. One brother was very mischievous, always getting into trouble. The other brother, however, was very good. He was always kind to animals, helped elderly neighbors, and led an exemplary life.

As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch but were never close. The evil brother became a heavy drinker and a womanizer. The other brother was a devoted husband and father and supported many charities.

One day the evil brother died. Then, after a few years, the good brother passed away. He went to heaven and was rewarded with a happy after life. One day he went to God and asked, “Where is my brother? He died before me, but I have not seen him here in heaven.”

God replied, “As you know, your brother led an evil life, so he is not spending eternity here in heaven. He has been sent elsewhere.”
I’m sorry to hear that”, the good brother replied. “But I do miss him and wish I could see him again.”

“You can see him if you wish”, God said “I will give you power to gaze into hell.”

So the power was granted and the good brother gazed into hell. Before long he saw his brother sitting on a bench. In one arm he held a keg of beer, and in the other he cradled a gorgeous young blonde. The good brother turned to God and said, “I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I have found my brother, and he has a keg of beer in one arm and a beautiful woman in the other. Surely, hell can not be that bad.”

God explained. “Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it. The blonde doesn’t.”

[Jukes]

/\ nice haha, heard it before.

Here's one;

What's the difference between aids and cancer?

I didn't give my sister cancer.

[bomberboy0618]

/\ nice haha, heard it before.

Here's one;

What's the difference between aids and cancer?

I didn't give my sister cancer.

I didn't know you were Tasmanian.

[upthemaidens]

not a joke ,true story  told to me by my mum..
  when i was in kindergarden  the teacher was telling us about Blue Whales. she pointed out that "The Blue Whale eats things that are no bigger than an orange". A young "upthemaidens" puts up his hand and asks " Does it peel it first?"

[CrowsFan]

/\ nice haha, heard it before.

Here's one;

What's the difference between aids and cancer?

I didn't give my sister cancer.

I didn't know you were Tasmanian.

Oi lay off Tasmanians!

[Grazz]

not a joke ,true story  told to me by my mum..
  when i was in kindergarden  the teacher was telling us about Blue Whales. she pointed out that "The Blue Whale eats things that are no bigger than an orange". A young "upthemaidens" puts up his hand and asks " Does it peel it first?"

haha still a reasonable question though mate.If they had hands lol made me laugh.

I got one about my brother and our neighbour who was washing his car and my bro was watching him
when he said 'My Dads car is better than yours" to which the neighbour replied "oh really"
My Bro then said "My Dads garden is better than yours" and the neighbour replies "Oh i see that"
This went on for a bit longer when our neighbour said to my Brother "I  bet im dumber than your Dad"
To which my brother replied "No way my Dads much dumber than you"
My Dad who was gardening at the time fell about laughing and came inside to tell me and Mum what had just happened.
Never let my brother forget it.