Jokes

[Grazz]

A couple of old guys (Grazz & Dudge) were golfing when Dudge said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.
Grazz remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before.
"Is that so?" Dudge asked. "Did he do a good job?"
"Well, I was on this course yesterday when a guy on the ninth hole hooked a shot," Grazz says. "The ball must have been going 200 kph when it hit me square in the nuts."
"What does that have to do with your teeth?" asked Dudge.
"Well" Grazz explained, "That was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."

Hey what the....   

[Grazz]

Naste and Nails were on holidays walking down Bond Street in London when Nails See's these Crocodile leather shoes in a shop window worth a $1000.

"Naste have a look at these" says Nails, Naste says "geez they are expensive mate". Nails says "why don't we go over to Africa and hunt these Crocs for a bit of extra spending money", Naste looks at Nails and says "great idea mate lets do it".

To cut a long story short they are both walking through the jungle when they come upon a river and a guy hiring boats.
Nails asks the guy if they can hire a speed boat, the bloke replies "i only have a row boat until midday then the speed boat will be back".

Nails looks at Naste and says "look mate put as much gear into the rowboat as you can carry and head off down the river after these Croc's and when the speed boat comes back i'll catch up to you". "Ok" says Naste and heads off down the river.

12 o'clock and sure enough the speed boat returns, after refueling Nails heads off after Naste. He gets to the 1st bend in the river and there's 8 dead Crocs on the bank, excellent he thinks. He gets to the next bend and there's 6 dead Crocs on the bank the next bend 4 dead Crocs on the bank and in the distance he can see Naste in the water wrestling a Crocodile with mud and crap going everywhere, Nails races up there and says "Naste what are you bloody doing ?". Naste looks around in anger and yells "If this barbie doesn't have any shoes on i'm going home"   

[nas]

Grazz's wife Karen, looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat.
Grazz had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. Karen smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back To the open window to see Grazz baptising the cat in a tub of water.
Karen called out, "Grazz, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"
Grazz looked  at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church.

[DazBurg]

LOL
nice work guys love the way you have thrown each others names into them
makes it all the more funnier  ;)

[Dudge]

Couple driving home and run over a possum, they get out it's still breathing but freezing cold. Husband says "Put it between your legs to warm it up", wife replies "but it's all wet and stinks", he says "Well hold the Possums flowering nose then!"

[Dudge]

6 year old son in the garden sees 2 spiders, son  asks "is that a mummylonglegs under a daddylonglegs?" Dad replies "No son, theres no such thing as a mummylonglegs, only daddylonglegs" Dad felt proud of his answer, until the boy stomps on both spiders saying,"we'll have none of that g-y shower in our garden, hey dad"

[Ringo]

Why Ringo never plays golf with an undertaker.
They will always be on top at the final hole.

[nas]

LOL
nice work guys love the way you have thrown each others names into them
makes it all the more funnier  ;)

Your turn Then!

Daz's wife came home just in time to find her Daz in bed with another woman.
With super-human strength, born of fury, cutting of firewood, lifting sacks
of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged Daz down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn.
She put his manhood in a vice and then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then she picked up an old carpenter's saw.
Banged-up-cheater Daz was terrified and screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?"
The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her Daz's hand and said ...
"Nope....you are! I'm gonna burn down the Barn!"

[CrowsFan]

A drunk man, let's call him BP, is standing in the middle of the town square pissing into the fountain. A cop spots him and comes over to tell him him off. "Stop that and put it away!" So BP shoves his dick back in to his pants and does up the zip. The cop turns and starts walking away when BP starts to laugh uncontrollably. "Okay, what's so funny?" asks the cop.
"Fooled you!" BP responds, "I put it away, but I didn't stop..."

[nas]

Hahaha The 2 Brothers have copped it

[Grazz]

Why Ringo never plays golf with an undertaker.
They will always be on top at the final hole.

Yeh i know when im outclassed, i need to be a bit wobbly then i remember them haha. Appologies to nails for using his name but us older guys have to stick together and i did make him the smart one. ;)

[CrowsFan]

Everyone on here knows Grazz is a very keen fisherman. I was interested in finding out why that was so I asked his wife, and this was her reply.

"I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!""

;D

[Grazz]

Everyone on here knows Grazz is a very keen fisherman. I was interested in finding out why that was so I asked his wife, and this was her reply.

"I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!""

;D

haha crack me up, thats part of it lol. The other reason is i can do the wild thing for five minutes but i can fish for atleast 24 hours straight. A man must know his limitations haha.

[nas]

Everyone on here knows Grazz is a very keen fisherman. I was interested in finding out why that was so I asked his wife, and this was her reply.

"I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!""

;D

Reckon he goes to the fish monger on the way home just quietly.

[Dudge]

Everyone on here knows Grazz is a very keen fisherman. I was interested in finding out why that was so I asked his wife, and this was her reply.

"I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!""

;D

Reckon he goes to the fish monger on the way home just quietly.

From the rumours i'm hearing, your spot on naste :D