Jokes

[T Dog]

My window just fell into the incinerator, it was a pane in the ash to retrieve.

[T Dog]

ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST

Count every " F " in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

(SEE BELOW)

HOW MANY ?









WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.


The reasoning behind is further down.


The brain cannot process "OF".




Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!



Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.


Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Send this to your friends.
It will drive them crazy.!
And keep them occupied
For several minutes..!

[Ringo]

Thought you would enjoy this

[PowerBug]

I'm sitting here wondering how I missed that above. I was looking and pointing at each word...

[Bill Manspeaker]

flower that F thing got me

[Ringo]

flower that F thing got me

Could use a Tbag cliche.  Is a pretty standard test these days and I picked 5 straight away because of the fact I know you overlook the f in of usually when reading.

[T Dog]

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma has a pause at the end of its clause.

8)

[henry]

Wow that F thing stunned me, had never realised that before, nice one!

[T Dog]

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"

One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."

The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.   :'(

[T Dog]

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette.

[T Dog]

A couple were celebrating their 25th anniversary at their house.

Suddenly the husband asks his wife: "dear, I love you so much, and to honor our special day I want to give you whatever you want. just name it".

The wife thinks a little bit and then says: "Well, actually I do have this sudden urge for some snails..."

So the husband leaves for this local deli and buys a lot of snails.

On the way back he sees this gorgeous blond, who invites him to her house. He follows her and they have sex for hours. Suddenly he sees this bucket of snails waiting for him near the entrance and remembers that his wife is still waiting.

He starts running like crazy carrying the bucket in his arm. seconds before his angry wife opens the door he hears her nervous steps and drops the bucket, so that all the snails are scattered around the floor.
When his wife opens the door and sees him with all the snails, he says:

"Come on boys, just a few more steps, you can make it..."

[T Dog]

A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way.   ;D

[T Dog]

Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X's.

He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show) you get the idea.

One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by.

"So vat's the problem? Greenberg asked, a bit anxiously.

Smith waved a bunch of cheques at him. "Perhaps nothing, he said, "but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent cheques of yours are all signed with 3 X's, but your signature of record has just 2.

Greenberg looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry about making trouble, he said, "but my wife said that since I'm now such a high-class rich guy, I should have a middle name!"

:o

[T Dog]

What Disney movie is about a gal who couldn't rise above a housecleaning position?

The Little Mere Maid

[T Dog]

I used to be a butler, but found the work wasn't my cup of tea.