Jokes

[T Dog]

You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When......

You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox.

A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn". Your boss is standing behind you. It's his wife.

While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.

You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.

You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?".

You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.

[T Dog]

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

[T Dog]

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.   8)

[T Dog]

And the Lord said unto John, " Come forth and you will receive Eternal Life"     

But John came fifth, and won a toaster   :o

[T Dog]

How do you think the unthinkable?


With an itheberg

[T Dog]

I just failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a simple stage direction.   >:(

My copy of the script clearly said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear.'

[T Dog]

My wife says she's leaving me because of my obsession with Dream Team

In my defence, I have Hibberd; Smith; Shaw; Harbrow; Newnes and the rookies

8)

[PowerBug]

My wife says she's leaving me because of my obsession with Dream Team

In my defence, I have Hibberd; Smith; Shaw; Harbrow; Newnes and the rookies

8)

Ok of all the jokes in this thread, this is clearly the one we can all relate to the most. Therefore, the funniest. Brilliant!

[T Dog]

My wife says she's leaving me because of my obsession with Dream Team

In my defence, I have Hibberd; Smith; Shaw; Harbrow; Newnes and the rookies

8)

Ok of all the jokes in this thread, this is clearly the one we can all relate to the most. Therefore, the funniest. Brilliant!

Thanks PB  ;D

[Bill Manspeaker]

hahaha just more gold from the Dawg

[T Dog]

hahaha just more gold from the Dawg

How are ya Billy?   ;D

[Nige]

And the Lord said unto John, " Come forth and you will receive Eternal Life"     

But John came fifth, and won a toaster   :o

I love this one!

[T Dog]

And the Lord said unto John, " Come forth and you will receive Eternal Life"     

But John came fifth, and won a toaster   :o

I love this one!

Thanks Big Nige   ;D

[T Dog]

Alert....Police raided Kermits lily pad and found 100s of nude pictures of Miss Piggy.
They said it was the worst case of frogs porn ever seen.
::)

[T Dog]

How many ears does Spock have?
Three - a left ear, a right ear and a Final Front Ear...


How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
Three: His left ear, his right ear & his wild front ear.
(Yes, I know, I'm showing my age. Deal with it ...)

::)