Jokes

[Big Mac]

1. A little brown paper bag goes to the doctor and says,

The suspense is killing me

[CrowsFan]

1. A little brown paper bag goes to the doctor and says,

The suspense is killing me

The doctor then says "I've got an ointment for that"

#teamjoke

[Nige]

Yep...put me down as a...Proud, Imprudent, Dishonest, Thrifty type farter.. :o

With a name like T Dog, I expected you to be the dishonest one.  :P

[Ringo]

"I was going to enter the nude swimming race but could not find my swimming togs."

[T Dog]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen maskover his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficultsurgery. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial spongebath. "Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testiclesblack?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'monly here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to askagain, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevatehis vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes herembarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises hisgown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other. Shetakes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!"The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, veryclosely... A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?" 8)

[T Dog]

Raul, Ronaldo and Beckham were all at Real Madrid's canteen. They were  eating lunch and Raul said; "Tapas again! If I get tapas one more time  for lunch I'm going to jump off the top of the stadium."
Ronaldo opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get  burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
Beckham opened his lunch and said, "Ham & Cheese again. If I get a Ham &  Cheese sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day Raul opened his lunch box, saw Tapas and jumped to his  death
Ronaldo opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.
Beckham opened his lunch, saw the Ham & Cheese and jumped to his death  as well.
At the funeral Raul's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how  really tired he was of Tapas I never would have given it to him again!"
Ronaldo's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or  enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the skinny, arseless bint wearing  oversized sun glasses and chav baseball cap.
"Hey, don't look at me," said Posh, "David makes his own lunch."
8)

[tor01doc]

Gettin old....

An old fellow was sitting on a train across from a blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.
Despite his efforts, he was unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realized she was wearing no panties.
She saw him staring and inquired, "Are you looking at my vagina?"
"Yes, I'm sorry," he replied and promised to avert his eyes.
"It's quite all right," she replied, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you."
Sure enough the vagina blew him a kiss.
The old man was completely astounded and inquired what else it could do.
"I can also make it wink," she replied. The old man stared in amazement as the vagina winked at him.
"Come and sit next to me," she said, patting the seat. He moved over and she asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"
Stunned, he asked, "You're kidding me, you mean it can whistle, too?"

It's tough gettin old ain't it buddy!

[CrowsFan]

This joke is more directed at Doc, and anyone else who can appreciate a grand medical joke ;)

A man asks a doctor "what kind of work do you do?" The doctor replies "oh, I work with kidneys." The man then says "so do you work in nephrology or paediatric orthopaedics?"

:-X

[GoLions]

hehe, i get it

[T Dog]

A little brown paper bag was feeling unwell, so he took himself off to the doctors. "Doctor, I don't feel too good," said the little paper bag
."Hmm, you look OK to me," said the Doctor, "but I'll do a blood test and see what that shows, come back and see me in a couple of days."
The little brown paper bag felt no better when he got back for the results."What's wrong with me?" asked the little brown paper bag.
"I'm afraid you are HIV positive!" said the doctor."
No, I can't be I'm just a little brown paper bag!" said the little paper bag.
"Have you been having unprotected sex?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little brown paper bag!"
"Well have you been sharing needles with other intravenous drug users?" asked the doctor."NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little brown paper bag!"
"Perhaps you've been abroad recently and required a jab or a blood transfusion?" queried the doctor."NO, I don't have a passport - I'm just a little brown paper bag!"
"Well," said the doctor, "are you in a homosexual relationship?"
"NO! I told you I can't do things like that, I'm just little paper bag!"
"Then there can be only one explanation." said the doctor. "Your mother must have been a carrier."  ::)

[tor01doc]

hehe, i get it

When do you start med school?

[GoLions]

hehe, i get it

When do you start med school?

Well, I've already watched every episode of Scrubs at least 3 times each, so I'd say I'm more than qualified to go into the medical workplace now

[tor01doc]

hehe, i get it

When do you start med school?

Well, I've already watched every episode of Scrubs at least 3 times each, so I'd say I'm more than qualified to go into the medical workplace now

Oh you young things.

I did my training in Korea - 4077 M*A*S*H.

[T Dog]

hehe, i get it

When do you start med school?

Well, I've already watched every episode of Scrubs at least 3 times each, so I'd say I'm more than qualified to go into the medical workplace now

Oh you young things.

I did my training in Korea - 4077 M*A*S*H.

Frank Frank...is it really you?...have you forgotten me already?  :'(

[FactHunt]

The Australian team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope" said Jose, age 6.