Jokes

[Ringo]

If your having a bad day this will cheer you up.  Always some one worse off than yourself.

[Ringo]

Not really a joke but had a chuckle

[Ringo]

[Ringo]

Sorry if this is offensive. But just shows you need to be aware of your surroundings at all times.

[Ringo]

This one is a little bit blue, but it sure is funny!

    A Tennessee farmer got home after a long day of working in the fields, and was feeling mighty horny. He went to his wife and asked her if she felt like a roll in the hay.

    His wife replied, “No Michael, our son will be home from school any minute now.”

    “So what?” Michael replied. “We can just turn on the dishwasher and he won’t hear a peep.”

    She replied, “No way Michael,” and that was that.

    Michael got frustrated and decided to go take a ride on his tractor to let off some steam.

    By the time their son had gotten home, the wife had changed her mind. She asked her son to go out to his father and tell him to come home and turn on the dishwasher.

    The son went out and told the farmer what the mother had said.

    Michael replied, “Tell your mother that it’s too late. I already did the dishes by hand!”

[Ringo]

One for we older members.

[Ringo]

    A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror.

    Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like.

    “I’d like to be 8 again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror.

    On the morning of her birthday, he woke up early, made her a nice big bowl of Froot Loops, and then took her to Adventure World. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

    Five hours later, they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt like it was upside down. He took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

    Then it was off to a movie with popcorn, a soda and her favorite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!

    Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed, exhausted.

    He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, “Well dear, what was it like being 8 again?”

    Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

    “I meant my dress size, you idiot!”

[Ringo]

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[Ringo]

[enzedder]

Not ventured for a look at the jokes but rewind two weeks back when Germany didn't qualify for the group stage of the world cup...
"Germany can't win anything in Russia"
was quite funny and witty at the time.

[Ringo]

Just ordered my next Birthday cake.

[Ringo]

Think a few can relate to this:

[Ringo]