Jokes

[elephants]

What do you call 2 Collingwood supporters driving off a cliff in a van?

A bloody waste, you can fit 5 in the back...

Hahaha I usually hate Collingwood jokes but that is quality ;D

[Dudge]

got two jokes from the 8th of September 2012


                 Geelong and Adelaide

Yeah had a little giggle at both :o

[T Dog]

I see Coldplay were performing at The Paralympics closing ceremony.

The deaf at the stadium are now the envy of everyone
;D ;D

Q. How many North Melbourne fans does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make excuses and Brad Scott to say that if the umpire had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.
   8)

[T Dog]

What do you call 2 Collingwood supporters driving off a cliff in a van?

A bloody waste, you can fit 5 in the back...

Hahaha I usually hate Collingwood jokes but that is quality ;D

;D The Robot


A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool." He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man responds, "about a 100."

Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football, Bathurst1000, cricket, supermodels, favourite fast foods, guns, and women's breasts.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He returns, the robot serves him and asks, "What's your IQ?" The man replies, "Er, 50, I think."
And the robot says ... real slowly ...

So ......... ya gonna follow Collingwood again this year?"

[T Dog]

A Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife,whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband.

PS. Sure is hot down here.  8) 8)

[CrowsFan]

Hahahaha love it T Dog ;D

[CrowsFan]

Shouldn't the question be how many MEN does it take to open a beer?

[T Dog]

Murphy says to Paddy "What ya talkin' to an envelope for?" "I'm sending avoicemail ya thick sod!" ;D

[Dudge]

Two Thai girls asked me if " i would like to go to bed with them ", they said it would be just like winning the lottery !. I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off, and to my horror, we had six matching balls !!!

[T Dog]

An bloke has just moved in next door.
He has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain.
It came as no surprise to learn his name is Bindair Dundat..... ;D

[henry]

Two Thai girls asked me if " i would like to go to bed with them ", they said it would be just like winning the lottery !. I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off, and to my horror, we had six matching balls !!!

Hahaha great one, haven't heard that before  ;D

[T Dog]

I've just written a book on reverse psychology; but it's shower and you shouldn't buy it. ;D ;D ;D

[Tominator]

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?

None - it should be open by the time she gives it to you !

[T Dog]

I went to the Doctor's the other day and he said I was paranoid... well he never actually said it, but that's what he was thinking.. >:(

[T Dog]

"$25 a month for a homeless child?" The charity mugger in the street asked.
After talking to her for ten minutes, and giving her my card details and address I asked...
"So, when can i expect delivery of them then?"  8)