Jokes

[benjy251090]

haha, nice

what did the muffin say to the other muffin in the oven?

[CrowsFan]

what?

[HillHero13]

Why don't you hit a collingwood supporter with your car on a bike?

[roo boys!]

I have said that fish one on this forum before CF.....are you stealing my material? ;D ;D

[benjy251090]

oops , stuffed up the joke, it is meant to say "what did one muffin say to the other when it said "it is starting to get hot in here"" and the other muffin says "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It's a talking muffin!"

and why not hilly?

[reesbr]

cause it might be your bike  :'(

[nas]

                  SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR   2007


                  A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded  her  pupils of tomorrow's final exam.

                  'Now listen to me, I won't  tolerate  any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

                  I might  consider a  nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a  death in your  immediate family, but that's it, no
other excuses  whatsoever!'

                  A  smart-arsed guy at the back of the room  raised his hand and asked,

                  'What would happen if I came in  tomorrow suffering from complete  and utter sexual  exhaustion?'

                  The entire class was reduced to laughter  and  sniggering.


                  But when silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly
at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,

                  'Well, I  suppose  you'd just have to write with your other hand!.

boom......boom!

[nas]

                  A  lorry  driver was driving along on a country road.

                  A sign came up that   read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'

                  Before he realized it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.

                  Cars are backed up  for  miles.

                  Finally, a police car comes up.

                  The policeman  got out of  his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to  the  driver,

                  'Got stuck, huh?'

                  The lorry driver said, 'No,  I was  delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'

[nas]

                  The policeman  got out of  his car and approached the boy racer he had just stopped for  speeding.

                  'I've  been waiting for you all day,' the policeman said.

                  The kid replied, 'Yes,  well I got here as fast as I could.'

                  (When the policeman finally stopped  laughing, he sent  the
kid on his way without a ticket!)

[nas]

   A  lady was  picking through the frozen turkeys at a Coles supermarket but she   couldn't find one big enough for her family.

                  She asked a  passing  assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

                  The  assistant replied, '  I'm afraid not, they're dead.'

[nas]

                  A  flight  attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check   tickets.

                  As a man approached, she extended her hand for the  ticket and  he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

                  Without  blinking an eyelid  she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket  not your  stub.'

[nas]

                  It  was mealtime during a flight on a Qantas plane:

                  'Would you  like dinner?' the flight attendant  asked the man seated in the front row.

                  'What are my choices?'  the man asked.

                  'Yes or no,' she  replied.

[roo boys!]

L.O.L!!!!

All pure gold naste ;D

[benjy251090]

they sound like something i would say

[Master Q]

   A  lady was  picking through the frozen turkeys at a Coles supermarket but she   couldn't find one big enough for her family.

                  She asked a  passing  assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

                  The  assistant replied, '  I'm afraid not, they're dead.'

Made my day, still haven't stopped laughing yet  ;D