Jokes

[My Chumps]

If you have a green ball in the left hand and a green ball in the right. What do you have?
Kermit the frog’s undivided attention..... :o

What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger ;)

Ahahahaha, filthy CF  ;)


Can't say I understand your other joke though...  ???

[McRooster]

Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead Collingwood supporter on the road?

































A. There's skid marks in front of the dog  ;)

[CrowsFan]

If you have a green ball in the left hand and a green ball in the right. What do you have?
Kermit the frog’s undivided attention..... :o

What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger ;)

Ahahahaha, filthy CF  ;)


Can't say I understand your other joke though...  ???

As I said it is the worst joke in the world. But basically the punchline is referring to people who say they have found GOD and are BORN again CHRISTIANS. Whereas he is saying he found the COD and is a PRAWN again to his best mate CHRISTIAN. Stupid play on words ;)

[B.S]

Why was the washing machine laughing???

[B.S]

He was taking the piss out of the knickers

[Fireballz]

He was taking the piss out of the knickers

Haha I'm happy with that one BS!

[T Dog]

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".

"Wow!" I was flabbergasted.

"I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.

She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"






so i told her to **** off
;D ;D ;D ;D

[Bill Manspeaker]

^^
lmao that's gold

[My Chumps]

Hahahaha, nice one T Dog!  ;D

If you have a green ball in the left hand and a green ball in the right. What do you have?
Kermit the frog’s undivided attention..... :o

What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger ;)

Ahahahaha, filthy CF  ;)


Can't say I understand your other joke though...  ???

As I said it is the worst joke in the world. But basically the punchline is referring to people who say they have found GOD and are BORN again CHRISTIANS. Whereas he is saying he found the COD and is a PRAWN again to his best mate CHRISTIAN. Stupid play on words ;)

Ahhh, okay. I got the COD = God and Christian is Christian, but I missed the Prawn being born...

A bad pun's a good pun  ;)

[T Dog]

A book just fell on my head.
I’ve only got myshelf to blame.
8)

[T Dog]

What's round and angry?











A vicious Circle!
;D

[T Dog]

Why was the washing machine laughing?..........




. . . Because it was taking the piss out of the pants!

[CrowsFan]

Why was the washing machine laughing?..........




. . . Because it was taking the piss out of the pants!

That joke was used just a few posts above you ;)

[T Dog]

That joke was used just a few posts above you ;)
[/quote]
:-[ :-[ apologies BS

I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that "iTouch Kids" is not a good product name.

[T Dog]

A busty blonde goes into the post office to make a call to her mother overseas. When the man tells her it will cost $100, she exclaims, "I don't have any money! But I'd do anything to get a message to my mother." The man arches an eyebrow, "Anything?" he asks. "Yes, yes, anything," The blonde promises. "Well then, just follow me," says the man. The pair go into a back room. "Get on your knees," says the man. She does so. "Now take it out of my trousers," he says. She reaches in and grabs it with both hands, then pauses. The man closes his eyes and whispers, "Go ahead." The blonde slowly brings her mouth closer to it and tentatively says... "Hello? Mum, can you hear me?"
;D ;D ;D