Jokes

[T Dog]

So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it.
So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!
:o

[Nige]

What do you call a guy hanging on a wall?
Art.

Classic.

[T Dog]

Thanks big Nige...appearing here regularly..drop by... ;D

[tor01doc]

Correction T Dog - you own this thread!

Thanks

[T Dog]

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, " I would do...anything." He returns her gaze. "Anything?" Anything." His voice softens. "Anything??" "Absolutely anything." His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
8)

what is wrong with you? ::)

[T Dog]

Three old men were at a doctor

[Nige]

Three old men were at a doctor

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  ;D ;)

[T Dog]

Three old men were at a doctor

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  ;D ;)

What not funny??  :-[

Mrs Dog told me yesterday we couldn't afford beer at $45.00 a case anymore. Too bad, but I would have to quit drinking.
Then today I caught her spending $95.00 on a tiny bottle of make-up.
I asked her how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't?
She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.
I told her that wasn't necessary, that's what the beer was for! Besides, my beer was $50 cheaper.

I don't think she's coming back

[CrowsFan]

Given up telling the memory test joke tdog? All the pesky symbols stuffing it up on ff? :P



Three old men are at the doctor's office to take a memory test.

The doctor says to the first old guy, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply.

The doctor worriedly says to the second old man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday" replies the second man.

The doctor sadly says to the third one, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine" says the third old man.

"That's great!" exclaims the doctor. "How did you get that"?

"That was easy Doc, "I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

[T Dog]

Thanks CF..I just gave up... ;D

[Grazz]

Three old men were at a doctor

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  ;D ;)

What not funny??  :-[

Mrs Dog told me yesterday we couldn't afford beer at $45.00 a case anymore. Too bad, but I would have to quit drinking.
Then today I caught her spending $95.00 on a tiny bottle of make-up.
I asked her how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't?
She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.
I told her that wasn't necessary, that's what the beer was for! Besides, my beer was $50 cheaper.

I don't think she's coming back

haha very funny mate.

[T Dog]

One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says "You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I'm gonna go over there and talk to him."
So, he goes over to the man and taps him on the shoulder. "Excuse me sir," he starts, "but I noticed you look just like me!"
The second man turns around and says "Yeah, I noticed the same thing, where you from?", "I'm from Dublin", second man stunned says, "Me too! What street do you live on?", "McCarthy street", second man replies, "Me too! What number is it?", the first man announces, "162", second man shocked says, "Me too! What are your parents names?", first man replies, "Connor and Shannon", second man awestruck says, "Mine too!
This is unbelievable!"
So, they buy some more Guinness and they're talking some more when the bartenders change shifts.
The new bartender comes in and goes up to the other bartender and asks "What's new today?" "Oh, the Murphy twins are drunk again." 8) 8) 8)

[CrowsFan]

A Guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friends instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy says ok and the girl takes off all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busy looking at her that he stacks the car and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. He tells her to go get help and she replied that she couldn't because she didn't have any clothes on. He replies, "Take my shoe and cover your snatch with it, and go for help!"

She takes the shoe and runs to the closest gas station. She finds the clerk and says, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?" The clerk replies, "I'm sorry, I think he's too far in."

[T Dog]

Funny facts about Google users:
50% of people use Google well as a search engine.
The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
8)

[T Dog]

Go Lions:  What is the chemical formula for water?
Nigey:  "HIJKLMNO"!!
Go Lions:  What are you talking about you buffoon?
Nigey:   Gimmeee a break..Yesterday you said it's H to O!
8) ;D