WXV Preliminary Finals: Wolves v Tigers, Thunder v Destroyers

[Purple 77]

Pyongyang ruin Canadian Party

Windsor couldn't make it a double with Toronto in the final, as the 9 Magpies triumphed over the 7 remaining Wolves.

Pyongyang Chollimas (17.8.110) def Windsor Warriors (8.11.59)

Best
Pyongyang: Kamdyn McIntosh, Jackson TrengoveLochie O'Brien
Windsor: Jake Melksham

PYONGYANG progresses to the GRAND FINAL
WINDSOR finishes 3rd

[Purple 77]

La Plata bring the Armada

13 young and angry future Dillos massacred the 9 frightened Yakuza; further proof that the Dillos have a strong reserve to call up upon in what will be a telling 2019.

La Plata Armada (27.10.172) def Yuzawa Yakuza (18.8.116)

Best
La Plata: Chris Masten, Chris MayneJesse Joyce, Oliver Florent, Cameron Rayner, Mitch W Brown
Yuzawa: Jarman Impey, Harry Perryman

LA PLATA progresses to the GRAND FINAL
YUZAWA finishes 4th

[Purple 77]

And ze proof:

	Toronto Wolves					New Delhi Tigers
POS	Traditional	SCO	PEN	ADJ	POS	Traditional	SCO	PEN	ADJ
D1	Kade Simpson	144		144	D1	Jake Lloyd	124		124
D2	Alex Witherden	13	DNP	0	D2	Bachar Houli	88		88
D3	Scott D Thompson	80		80	D3	Daniel Rich	99		99
D4	Ryan Clarke	42		42	D4	Harry Morrison	69		69
M1	Jack Macrae	110		110	M1	Dan Hannebery	47		47
M2	Scott Pendlebury	100		100	M2	Steele Sidebottom	120		120
M3	Jack Redden	97		97	M3	Jack Steven	80		80
M4	Tim Kelly	155		155	M4	Jack Ziebell	60		60
R1	Tom Bellchambers	112		112	R1	Stefan Martin	133		133
F1	David Mundy	109		109	F1	Sam Menegola	112		112
F2	Travis Boak	117		117	F2	Robbie Gray	84		84
F3	Wayne Milera	106		106	F3	Jack Darling	-1	DNP	0
F4	Allen Christensen	118		118	F4	Ed Langdon	60		60
U1 (MID )	Jacob Hopper	54		54	U1 (MID )	Scott Selwood	52		52
U2 (MID )	Brayden Fiorini	100		100	U2 (MID )	Brayden Sier	75		75
E1 (FWD )	Jake Melksham	96	DNP	0	E1 (MID )	Jack Newnes	73	DNP	0
E2 (DEF )	Taylin Duman	55		55	E2 (RUC )	Oscar McInerney	0	DNP	0
E3 (DEF )	Nick Robertson	52	DNP	0	E3 (FWD )	Riley Knight	55		55
C	Jack Macrae	110		110	C	Jake Lloyd	124		124
VC	Kade Simpson	144		0	VC	Stefan Martin	133		0
HA	Ryan Clarke	42		42			0		0
		Total:	1651	15			Total:	1382	15

	Beijing Thunder					Dublin Destroyers
POS	Traditional	SCO	PEN	ADJ	POS	Traditional	SCO	PEN	ADJ
D1	Tom Jonas	73		73	D1	Alex Rance	78		78
D2	Brandon Ellis	82		82	D2	Steven May	77		77
D3	Tom Cutler	75		75	D3	Tom McDonald	84		84
D4	James Aish	61		61	D4	Phil Davis	55		55
M1	Dayne Zorko	80		80	M1	Rory Sloane	110		110
M2	Lachie Neale	132		132	M2	Matt Crouch	131		131
M3	Callan Ward	116		116	M3	Joel Selwood	109		109
M4	Ollie Wines	97		97	M4	Dustin Martin	138		138
R1	Brodie Grundy	162		162	R1	Todd Goldstein	95		95
F1	Luke Breust	76		76	F1	Jack Riewoldt	84		84
F2	Josh Caddy	107		107	F2	Justin Westhoff	126		126
F3	Daniel Rioli	66		66	F3	Tom Hawkins	136		136
F4	Matt Guelfi	42		42	F4	Jack Gunston	140		140
U1 (MID )	Tom Rockliff	58		58	U1 (RUC FWD)	Majak Daw	89		89
U2 (MID )	Bradley Hill	78		78	U2 (MID )	Nick Holman	48		48
E1 (RUC FWD)	Mason Cox	87	DNP	0	E1 (FWD )	Jack Henry	61	DNP	0
E2 (DEF MID)	Jackson Thurlow	94	DNP	0	E2 (DEF MID)	Mark O'Connor	46	DNP	0
E3 (FWD )	Liam Baker	35	DNP	0	E3 (DEF )	Oscar McDonald	61	DNP	0
C	Brodie Grundy	162		162	CC	Matt Crouch	131		66
VC	Dayne Zorko	80		0	CC	Todd Goldstein	95		48
HA	Matt Guelfi	42		42			0		0
		Total:	1509	15			Total:	1614	15

[Purple 77]

Reserves

Aiden Bonar	Buenos Aires Armadillos	40	R
Cameron Polson	Buenos Aires Armadillos	30	R
Cameron Rayner	Buenos Aires Armadillos	76	R
Chris Masten	Buenos Aires Armadillos	86	R
Chris Mayne	Buenos Aires Armadillos	102	R
Harry Taylor	Buenos Aires Armadillos	60	R
Jacob Heron	Buenos Aires Armadillos	61	R
Jesse Joyce	Buenos Aires Armadillos	93	R
Mark LeCras	Buenos Aires Armadillos	68	R
Michael Rischitelli	Buenos Aires Armadillos	21	R
Mitch W Brown	Buenos Aires Armadillos	76	R
Oliver Florent	Buenos Aires Armadillos	89	R
Shaun Atley	Buenos Aires Armadillos	59	R
David Myers	Seoul Magpies	45	R
Jackson Trengove	Seoul Magpies	95	R
Travis Varcoe	Seoul Magpies	54	R
Willie Rioli	Seoul Magpies	63	R
Kamdyn McIntosh	Seoul Magpies	89	R
Cam McCarthy	Seoul Magpies	40	R
Sam Rowe	Seoul Magpies	57	R
Conor Glass	Seoul Magpies	30	R
Lochie O'Brien	Seoul Magpies	75	R
Harry Perryman	Tokyo Samurai	87	R
Aaron Young	Tokyo Samurai	59	R
Ben Long	Tokyo Samurai	41	R
Jarman Impey	Tokyo Samurai	95	R
Kayne Turner	Tokyo Samurai	60	R
Liam Ryan	Tokyo Samurai	36	R
Nathan Vardy	Tokyo Samurai	66	R
Will Hoskin-Elliott	Tokyo Samurai	67	R
Sam Lloyd	Tokyo Samurai	68	R
Alex Witherden	Toronto Wolves	13	R
Jake Melksham	Toronto Wolves	96	R
Alex Pearce	Toronto Wolves	19	R
Robbie Fox	Toronto Wolves	33	R
Bradley Lynch	Toronto Wolves	23	R
Nick Robertson	Toronto Wolves	52	R
Thomas Cole	Toronto Wolves	58	R

[Adamant]

Holzman, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in 1 week with your WXV Premiership, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

I don’t hate you, Holz. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in this competition.

I hate this idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Purple 77's ass.

You’re as good as kissing Purple's ass as CrowsFan was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Jroo though. He’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is.

Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall!

[waves to the camera]

I am the best XVs coach in the world.

I’ve been the best ever since day one when I registered on this website. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day, because Colliwobblers saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Colliwobblers guy. You know who else was a Colliwobblers guy? Nails. And he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Nails is I’m going to leave with the WXV Premiership.

I’ve grabbed so many of Purple 77’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they're just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody on FanFooty that I am the best at trading, the best at drafting, even on Discord! Nobody can touch me!

And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not regarded as the face of the competition. I’m barely promoted. I don't get to be in any Elxam leagues. I’m certainly not in any crappy leagues on the DT/SC boards. I’m not a m0nty medalist. I’m not in the FanFooty Hall of Fame. I don't get to be interviewed by nas on The Good Oil on Coaches. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.

And trust me, this isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Holz has 5 stars and I don't makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are reading those interviews by nas. You’re the ones that comment in those award threads that I'm not involved in. And then during December when I'm on holiday, you try to come to me for advice so you can profit from your trades because you’re too lazy to watch games of footy and do some research.

I’m leaving with the WXV Premiership on August 26th. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it on BigFooty. Maybe…I’ll go back to Ultimate Footy.

[looks at the camera and waves]

Hey, Shihan7, how you doing?

The reason I’m leaving is you people. Because after I’m gone, you’re still going to devote your time to this website. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Purple 77 is going to get all the plaudits despite himself. He’s a WXV admin who should be a FanFooty admin. You know why he’s not an FF admin? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, nonsensical, douchebag yes men, like ossie85, who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I’d like to think that maybe this website will be better after Purple 77 is deactivated. But the fact is, it’s going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.

Let me tell you a personal story about Purple 77, alright? We do this whole anti bully campaign...

[microphone cuts off]

[Holz]

Just got out the spa so very relaxed.

Great season jing went out with a very good score so got to hang your head high.

[Purple 77]

Well this got interesting!

[meow meow]

The edgelord is such a punk!

[RaisyDaisy]

[Torpedo10]

I sympathise with the Adamant cause.

[Nige]

You know, we've been calling Adamant the Edgelord this entire time, but his entire persona is much more akin to CM Punk than Edge. Levi is shook.

[meow meow]

You cows and your gifs are wasting all my mobile data

[fanTCfool]

Did somebody say leaving? @KB

[Toga]

Just got out the spa so very relaxed.

Great season jing went out with a very good score so got to hang your head high.

Well done Holz, too good on the day.

Would've been nice for 'Jing to get into that maiden GF but wasn't to be! Picture of consistency all year but just a few too many passengers this week meant we couldn't keep up with Dublin's star power. Offseason starts now!

[Hellopplz]

With a pipebomb to kick off grand final week!

This gonna be good 8).