[UTG S2] Go Pack Yourself

[GoLions]

Go Pack Yourself

Coach: GoLions



Team List:

DEF: Kade Simpson, Matthew Boyd, Jeremy Howe, Michael Hurley, Aaron Mullett

MID: Marc Murphy, Lachie Whitfield, Dyson Heppell, Trent Cotchin, Luke Shuey, David Mundy, Jared Polec SE, Tom Liberatore

RUCK: Toby Nankervis

FWD: Shaun Higgins, Chad Wingard, Chad Wingard, Tom J Lynch, Koby Stevens, Sir Daniel of Caleb, Tom Papley, Hayden Ballantyne, Ryan Lester, Zaine Cordy, Jacob Townsend

Collectables:
Spare Man

Gold: 50G



Best XI:

DEF: Kade Simpson, Jeremy Howe, Michael Hurley
MID: Marc Murphy, Lachie Whitfield, Luke Shuey, Jared Polec SE
RUCK: Toby Nankervis
FWD: Chad Wingard, Shaun Higgins, Sir Daniel of Caleb

EMG: Trent Cotchin, Dyson Heppell, Tom J Lynch, Matthew Boyd

[GoLions]

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[GoLions]

[GoLions]

Head of Operations Mark Wahlberg was interviewed today, speaking on behalf of Go Pack Yourself, as we approach the halfway point of the season.

Interviewer: Mark, do you honestly believe that Go Pack Yourself can be a legitimate contender come finals at the end of the season?



No further questions were necessary.

[GoLions]

[GoLions]

[GoLions]

[GoLions]

Rumours circulating that star defender Matthew Boyd will be joining Go Pack Yourself within the next 24 hours. Although he has had a down year, Go Pack Yourself are backing him to bounce back, and boost their defence, particularly with that D3 position which we have been struggling with.

We spoke with Head of Recruiting Lord Farquaad this morning:

[GoLions]

Some leaked behind the scenes footage of Head of Recruiting Lord Farquaad, deciding how many packs to buy a few days ago:

[GoLions]

#1 ticketholder Katy Perry was asked, and not long after graciously accepted, to write and sing the team song for Go Pack Yourself. Unfortunately the footage is too saucy for this site, but here are the lyrics anyway:

"Bronze N Gold"

You spend your gold
Like a girl changes clothes.
Yeah, you, PMS
Like a Shaw
I would know
And you overbid
At auctions
Stupidly

I should know
That you're no use to me

'Cause you're Bronze and you're Gold
You're a spud and you're old
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You spud when it's tight
You start up team fights
We fight, I sell you back
Buy packs, get you back
(You) You don't really wanna play well
(You) But you're not worth enough to sell
You're Bronze and you're Gold
You're a spud and you're old
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down

You used to be
Premium like Gary
Points in the bank
And without Stephen Dank
Used to laugh 'bout nothing
Now it's at your scoring

I should know
That you're no use to me

'Cause you're Bronze and you're Gold
You're a spud and you're old
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You spud when it's tight
You start up team fights
We fight, I sell you back
Buy packs, get you back
(You) You don't really wanna play well
(You) But you're not worth enough to sell
You're Bronze and you're Gold
You're a spud and you're old
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down, down...

[GoLions]

We caught up with ruckman Tom Hickey this afternoon, with word spreading around that his services will no longer be needed at Go Pack Yourself.



Interviewer: Tom, what are your thoughts on the news of you potentially being traded by the club? Were you aware of this before today?

Tom: Are you flowering kidding me? What the actual flower? Is this a joke? What is going on, no-one has told me shower. Hang on a sec, I need to speak to someone.

*2 minutes later*

Interviewer: So, any updates for us Tom?

Tom: flower off.

Interviewer: So are you confirming that the rumours about you are indeed true?

Tom: flowering cow ass pieces of shower flowering son of a flowerin goat dog flowerers.

Interviewer: Thank you for your time, Tom.

Tom: Go pack yourselves.

[GoLions]

Go Pack Yourself would like to officially welcome Matthew Boyd to the team! We're sure he'll slot nicely into our backline, providing some good run and carry off half back to deliver the ball forward.

[GoLions]

We spoke to champion match winning midfielder David Mundy this afternoon at the MCG, to talk about his performance on the weekend.

Interviewer: Afternoon David, how are you feeling after the win on the weekend? You definitely played an important role!

David: Yeah, look, I don't really know what to say. It all still feels so surreal. You always dream about kicking the match winning goal, but to do it to Richmond; twice...that just puts it on a whole other level.



Interviewer: Couldn't agree with you more! Hahaha, Richmond, makes me laugh every time.

David: You and me both sister, aha.

Interviewer: However, it's fair for me to say that you haven't always made the most of these match winning opportunities? Didn't you miss a shot after the siren against the Cats last year?

David: Go Pack Yourself.

Interviewer: Yeah fair call. What was the plan at the centre bounce after the Tigs took the lead with less than 30 seconds to go?

David: I'm glad you asked this question. You see, Lachie and I had actually been talking at 3QT, and Lachie was saying how funny would it be if we let the Tigs back in the game, only to break their hearts at the last minute. I wasn't a huge fan of it at first, but I told him that I'd back him in to get the job done, and when it came down to it, kick it to that pocket. [David points at pocket opposite to where he goaled from]. So, you can imagine how I was feeling when Lachie kicks it into the wrong bloody pocket. After I marked it I looked at him in the eye from a distance, and he knew he was a goner if I missed. Thankfully, I'm not Cloke, so I slotted it with ease. But far out, sometimes Lachie can just...ya know?

Interviewer: Yeah, I've heard that Lachie can be quite the wily fella! But as true leaders do, you stood up and got your team the 4 points.

David: If only Nat could do that eventually...

[Fyfe walks past, overhearing the conversation].

Nat: I'm a good leader. I deserved to be captain just as much as you!

David: Yeah I'll believe that when you don't leave us at the end of the year, bun-bun. I'm the captain now.

Nat: David please, your words hurt. I'll give you 10% of the highest offer I receive from another club if you tell everyone I am the true captain. They'll listen to you.

David: Well, I can only presume that they're offering a haircut at the very least. What am I going to do with 10% of your hair?

Interviewer: Thank you for your time, David.

David: No worries.

[GoLions]

Go Pack Yourself can now welcome to the team Lachie Hunter, who is joining the side effective immediately, with the paperwork being lodged and approved earlier today. Lord Farquaad is hoping that Lachie can return back to his elite form of 2016 in the back half of the season.